Needing a new activity, and an attitude adjustment, I took up karate. I loved it! I especially loved that within the magical boundaries of the karate studio, it was ok to kick and punch people to my hearts content.
Fast forward about one hundred years, to last Saturday: I had my first Tae Kwon Do class. Since my ACE study guide says I should have knowledge of the basic components of a fitness class. I thought I would walk through my first class by component. Here it goes:
Warm-up: I show up to class, and I am the only no0b-ass white belt there, with a bunch of black belts. To make matters worse, they are almost all frigin' teenagers! So now, not only do I have no idea what I am doing, I am also old. I start my warm-up by hauling my geriatric ass around the room for a few laps. Then, the instructor tells us to side step around the room. Everyone else in the class is like eleven feet tall, and making one stride to my three. Gawd I'm slow. "Stop, now run backwards." And I'm like:
I suck even more at running backwards. After that humiliation, we line up for a series of mountain climbers and jumping over stuff. One of the things we had to jump over was a classmate's legs. I stepped on that girls legs three times. Sorry girl.
Conditioning: Lots of kicking drills, not too bad. Then we did some partner work with bags, AKA: "hold this while I kick the shit out of it, and I might miss a few times and damn near take your head off." The girl I stepped on was once again my partner, and I'm pretty sure she was getting her revenge.
Cool Down: I learned a bit of my first form. I only had to be shown like a thousand times. It was early and I hadn't had any coffee.
Flexibility: Pwned. Not a single one of those young whippersnappers could do the splits! Not even close.
I used to be a cheerleader.